phone 019

This summer I took a trip to Alaska to visit my Aunt and Uncle. What a great time! We started the trip off with some kayaking near Denali, rafting in Talkeetna and a stay in their beautiful cabin! What a beautiful state, I didn’t want to leave. I think the only reason I came back was because I missed my dogs so much.

Anyway, I feel like Alaska really spoke to me. Something about the place made me slow down, calm down, and feel a little more at peace. I’m sure the nature played a huge part in that! Seriously though, instead of letting road rage take over and the need to get places faster, I felt myself relaxed and often found myself going below the speed limit. There is so much you can miss if you’re in a hurry. Alaska really has it all. The mountains, the ocean, the wildlife, it’s incredible!

Before going to Alaska I finally felt like I figured out what I want to do with my life. In this aspect, Alaska shook me up a little. I came back to good ole’ Tennessee feeling a little lost (again!) and also kind of dejected. Tennessee is beautiful but it’s nothing like Alaska. Maybe it’s because everything is so new to me but I suddenly didn’t want to go hiking with my dogs or anything. My excuse is always “It’s too hot and too humid!” How lame. I still feel a little “lost”. I’m not sure what I want to do and everything I think of I’m not sure how to get it done. I definitely need a way to find my motivation but I’m so worried about the future. I’m slipping a little out of the present here, which definitely explains my sadness, and thinking about the what ifs. What if I end up in a job I hate? What if I spend my whole life working with no time for my martial arts, my dogs, hiking, writing, etc? If that happens then I lose my identity. Who would I be? I want to find a way to be myself and do the things I love while still being able to pay the bills.

phone 143.jpg

The Tao Te Ching teaches not to dwell in the past or future and I definitely agree, but planning should still be considered. Somehow I have to find a way back onto the path. I need to get out of my head and experience the present time. I will find a way to do it, even if it takes some time. Sometimes we’re up and sometimes we’re down. It’s all about balance. I must stay positive, work hard and I’m sure everything will come together. I hope, however, the  path leads me west to those incredible mountains and breathtaking scenery.

“The world is sacred.
It can’t be improved.
If you tamper with it, you’ll ruin it.
If you treat it like an object, you’ll lose it.

So sometimes ahead and sometimes behind,
sometimes hot and sometimes cold,
sometimes strong and sometimes weak,
sometimes on top of it, sometimes under.

So don’t strain, spend too much, be smug”

For more pictures from Alaska check out my Instagram!!!

https://www.instagram.com/jl30stmars/?hl=en

Advertisements